This week I was finishing up a patchwork jacket I had made. The jacket is made of recycled white and beige jeans and red thread. 

 

Late one night as I was working, I experienced a wave of anxiety about my work. I was frustrated with my lack of skill and how it wasn't turning out quite right. I found myself irritated by the fact that most of my work is created alone in my room and doesn't have the ability to impact people at large. I always feel an emptiness after creating something, like it never gets to the place I want it to or won't connect to people in the way that I had hoped. I felt as though I was just going in circles and I wasn't making any progress. 

 

I wrote my frustrations down and a few days later decided to stitch that monologue onto the jacket. A majority of the process remains behind the scenes, never making it in front of an audience. It stays locked away and hidden when in reality they are some of the most vulnerable and authentic aspects of the piece. 

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Materializing the thoughts in my head was an attempt to get closer at more authentic clothing. The final product wouldn't have been possible without the added mess of self doubt and uncertainty. 

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For my primary research, I am still in the process of formatting my questions. I will also be asking individuals from the survey if they are willing to be interviewed. 

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