Free Write 

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Hitting a wall sucks. I feel like I’ve made no progress at all. When I think about my original question and its trajectory, I feel dread. I don’t get excited, but rather afraid that I won’t be able to sustain it for an entire year. I feel guilty. Have I been wasting time? 

 

I’ve taken a few steps back. I gathered more inspiration and found things that made me excited again. I watched a documentary about McQueen and was moved to tears. Why? I like that he isn’t afraid to be controversial. He is so far removed from the constructs of the fashion world and just kept developing his ideas. Everything he created was based off his own personal experience, not some grand idea or prediction like what I am trying to do. I hate that I feel so emotionally distant from my question. I don’t care enough about it. He was honest with his work and I can already feel myself becoming dishonest with mine. 

 

I really like intricate, thoughtful patterns. I like when you can tell something was carefully calculated. Im not so much interested in creating a kind of grand gesture about something. I like the idea of subtlety. 

 

I was thinking about materializing certain diseases onto a series of handmade jackets as a new approach to my question. In a way, this is honest clothing. I wonder if I made it carefully and respectfully enough, those who suffer from those diseases can wear them as a way to reclaim them or something. In this way, I have the opportunity to really dive into the specifics of each pattern. I don't really care to make an entire line of clothing. I have never made pants or skirts or blouses before and I'm not entirely sure I want to for this thesis. The idea is overwhelming. I would rather put that energy into creating the patterns and the texture of the jackets. The jackets will act as a base.

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This is the new direction I will be taking. It makes me excited to see how I can merge two different worlds together. I will be re-evaluating my sources and adding ones that are more pertinent to this kind of exploration. 

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This coming week: 

• individual appointment Monday @ 11:20am

• appointment with Jennifer on Wednesday 

  • refine question and sub questions ​

  • new list of sources 

• edit overall calendar 

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